Lessons from Gloria Vanderbilt on Living with Authenticity and Resilience

Gloria Vanderbilt’s life story involves reinvention, creativity, and resilience. Born into wealth as part of the famous Vanderbilt family, she lived through early tragedy, a public custody battle, and countless personal challenges. Yet Gloria is celebrated not just for her name but for how she claimed her life and identity beyond the expectations of her legacy. A creative force in fashion, art, and writing, Gloria embraced her individuality, setting a powerful example for others to live authentically and fully.

Quote to Guide Us

Her quote is at the heart of Gloria Vanderbilt’s philosophy: “You must always have great, secret, big fat hopes for yourself in love and in life. The bigger, the better.” This simple line captures the power of dreaming fearlessly and holding onto hope, regardless of circumstances—a theme that defines claiming life on your terms.

“Great, Secret, Big Fat Hopes” as a Foundation for Life

For Gloria, claiming life meant nurturing a deep hope in her heart, even when life seemed uncertain. Her life was marked by reinvention: from her early role as a “poor little rich girl” in a scandalous custody battle to becoming a celebrated fashion designer in her 50s. She redefined herself continually, holding onto her vision of who she wanted to be.

Lesson: Claiming life starts with believing in your dreams, no matter how unrealistic they may seem to others. Start by keeping one or two personal hopes close to your heart—ones that might seem too big to share but that inspire you to grow.

Embracing Creativity and Curiosity

Vanderbilt pursued her passions with unrestrained curiosity. From acting to designing her iconic jeans line in the 1970s, she was fearless about trying new creative outlets. Her success with her jeans, linens, and perfumes became a testament to following what excites you, regardless of age or social expectations.

Lesson: Curiosity is a powerful tool for claiming life. Never stop exploring new skills, hobbies, or career paths, even if others think you’re too young, too old, or too established. Like Gloria, dive into what excites you—it’s never too late to embrace something new.

Living Authentically Despite Public Pressure

As a member of one of America’s most famous families, Gloria’s life was often in the spotlight. However, she remained true to herself, embracing both her personal triumphs and failures. Her relationships, creativity, and even her reflections on loss were openly shared, helping others relate to her on a personal level.

Lesson: Claiming life means living authentically, without hiding from your own story. Embrace your struggles and triumphs as parts of your unique path. Vanderbilt showed that honesty with oneself and others can be liberating.

Transforming Pain into Strength

Gloria experienced profound loss, including the tragic death of her son Carter in 1988. Despite the heartbreak, she found ways to keep going, expressing her emotions through writing and art. Vanderbilt’s life demonstrates that claiming life isn’t about avoiding pain but transforming it into something meaningful.

Lesson: Strength isn’t about avoiding hardship but finding ways to grow through it. Use life’s challenges as inspiration to create, connect, or inspire others. As Gloria did, let pain fuel new understanding or creativity.

 

Gloria Vanderbilt’s journey teaches us that claiming life is about daring to dream, following curiosity, embracing authenticity, and facing adversity with courage. As she put it, “You must always have great, secret, big fat hopes”—and let those hopes guide you toward a life lived boldly.

Take a page from Gloria’s life by nurturing your own big hopes, trying new things, and facing life with the authenticity and resilience she exemplified. Claim your life as a journey only you can define, and let it unfold with courage and joy.